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Won't you please tell me what makes the world go 'round?
Standing on this ball that's spinning in space,
What makes me stick to the ground?

Well it's got something to do with mathematics
Something to do with alcohol
Something to do with Dianetics
And I can't figure it out at all.

Won't you please disclose the secret of success?
Standing on this ball, well I'm busting my balls,
Why is my life such a mess?

Well it's got something to do with mathematics
Something to do with rock and roll
Something to do with Nostradamus and
I can't figure it out at all.

I'm just a tiny speck in the Universal Order of Things
Trying to figure out what it all means.

Divulge to me the secret of a love that's true
Standing on this ball, well I'm never on the ball
One and one never equals two

Well it's got something to do with mathematics
Something to do with alcohol
Something to do with prophylaptics and
I can't figure it out at all.

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The Abe Lincoln Story Los Angeles, California

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